In my short time here in Albania, I’ve learned why they say
that the Peace Corps is a rollercoaster.
From one month, week, day, hour even minute to the other, my emotions
and motivation can go from one extreme to the other. So after a week that was full with English
classes, meetings, xhiros, coffee dates and trips to the river, I got really
really lazy. I realized last night that
the only significant thing that I had done since Saturday was to pay my
electricity bill. Side note: that is in
fact not so insignificant in a country that doesn’t believe in lines and
probably deserves its own blog post.
So I decided that I would go on a hike this morning. The hot weather had been keeping me inside
way too much over the past week and it was time to face it head on. Luckily though, given that I had done nothing
in 48 hours, my body needed zero sleep and woke up at the ungodly hour of 5
am. This meant I could hike before it
got too hot. I set out to go across the
Death Bridge to explore more of the village across the river. I’ve been missing village life lately and I
wanted to return to the familiar sights, sounds and well to be honest smells of
a village.
But above all, I wanted to be able to walk in solitude and
really enjoy the nature around me without getting “That girl is crazy!” looks
from other people or having to explain why an American was in their small
town. This of course was not in the
cards. I spent my walk from the main
street in Gramsh to the other side of the river trying to escape two women who
were walking in the same direction. I
would slow down and they would slow down.
I would speed up and they would catch up to me. It appeared that the Albanian gods were going
to make me be social whether I liked it or not.
So after doing this little dance across the bridge, the women finally
turned to me and asked me all the typical Shqiptar questions. (Who are
you? Where are you from? Where do you live? You live alone?!?! Aren’t you bored? Why are you in Gramsh? How much money to you make? Why do you work for no money? Etc.) They went into their house about 30 minutes
into my walk and I thought that I was finally free to enjoy the peace and quiet
around me. So I decided to walk up the
trail that I found during my first week at site. It is a steep road straight up the hillside
at the end of the village and at the top is a family compound. I hadn’t been
back on this trail since despite the amazing view from the top because the last
time I was up there was kind of an
‘obobo’ moment.
So I guess I owe you that story…
The last time I had been up there was in the afternoon after
one of my first days of school. I was
exhausted but I wanted to explore the town and the areas around it and I wasn’t
going to let the likely afternoon thunderstorm stop me. So I hiked up the mountain and when I got to
the top, I found the family compound.
Now here in Albania it isn’t weird to be following a path and suddenly
walk into someone’s front yard. But this
family was all outside taking care of their animals and working in the
fields. A little girl came up to me and
started asking me all of the typical Shqiptar questions (see above) and slowly
I realized that the whole family was surrounding me. Now lets take a second to recap here… there I
was surrounded by a family of Albanians during my first week at site when I
barely knew Gramsh, couldn’t really speak the language and even conjugating
verbs was difficult for me when under pressure. I was probably the most
uncomfortable I had been since coming to Albania. Socializing in a foreign language is
surprisingly stressful. And to make
matters worse, they invited me into their house. All PCVs here in Albania are familiar with
the invitation “Hajde, Hajde. Pi
kafe. Hajde.” It is completely normal here to invite people
into your house even if you don’t know them and Albanians take great pride in
the hospitality they show to newcomers.
But at this moment, I just couldn’t do it. My brain was so overwhelmed from the language
and stress that there was no way I was going into their house. Blame it on all of the times I had been told
as a child to not talk to strangers much less join them in their homes but I
had to get out. So in my broken Shqip I
told them I had to go because I wanted to get home before it rained and I tried
to leave. They told me not to worry,
that I could stay at their house until it was clear and that if it was dark
they would walk me down the hill. When I
kept refusing and started to say goodbye, they offered me an umbrella as a last
ditch effort to help me. I of course
said no and went to say goodbye to the girl.
And then she asked me the question that I was totally unprepared for,
“Will you come back to visit again?”.
Completely caught off guard, I said yes and ran away. Man that girl was good. I immediately
regretted that I hadn’t stayed their and visited. Here I was a foreigner who barely spoke their
language and I was saying no to their hospitality. Then it started to rain and rain hard. At that moment I decided that the Albanian
gods were sending me a message. I
resolved to always say yes to Albanian hospitality unless I already had
plans. And since then I’ve for the most
part stuck to this rule. But the one
thing I failed to do was to go back and visit that family again.
So back to present day.
I decided to climb the trail and risk the fact that the family might be
outside. In my ignorance, I thought that
since it was only 8 AM maybe they would still be in the house. But of course I was spotted by none other
than the grandma. Shqiptar grandmas
(gjyshes) are notorious. The best way I
can describe them is as a combination of a babushka and an Italian grandmother. And as anyone who has either knows, there is
no saying no to them. I still held out
hope that I could get through with a simple hello and how are you but that hope
was dashed as soon as I spoke. Her face
lit up and she yelled inside that the American was back. Apparently I wasn’t forgotten even after
almost 2 months. And at that moment, in
all honesty, I almost cried. I couldn’t
believe that they would remember the American girl they had talked to for maybe
half an hour max 2 months ago especially after I had refused their invitation. And not only did they recognize me but they
remembered that I had a little brother and that I was from California and that
I was teaching English. I hadn’t felt
this loved since I left my host family.
And when this time when they told me to “Hajde, Hajde. Pi kafe. Hajde.”
I didn’t even hesitate.
First, one of the sisters took me down to the grape
vines. She was explaining to me the
different types of grapes they have: grapes for wine, grapes to eat, grapes for
raki (Albanian moonshine) and we picked a few bundles of grapes to eat and
headed inside. There they turned on the
morning news and I sat around with the women eating grapes and drinking milk
while the little kids danced around the house.
It was perfect. Granted there
were times when I didn’t understand or when conversation was difficult but I
felt at home. After an hour, I had to
leave to make it back in time for tutoring and I actually felt sad to be
leaving. I said goodbye to everyone and
promised that next time I wouldn’t wait 2 months to visit. And just when I thought their hospitality was
as good as it could get, they gave me a bag of grapes to take home. I wish I had the words to explain how much their hospitality meant to me. Since I don't have a sitemate here, I am constantly faced with questions about being alone but moments like this make me realize that while I might be the lone American in Gramsh, I am never alone here.
As I walked home, I made a point to say hello to everyone I
passed. I even gave a few grapes to some
kids in the village. And I met two more
gjyshes on the bridge back into town who asked me the typical questions. But this time, rather than internally rolling
my eyes and counting the seconds until I could continue, I enjoyed our
conversation and asked them my own questions.
When we said goodbye I got a good gjyshe chest and arm rub from them
both and I knew it was going to be a good day.
Sometimes, it can be easy to get too comfortable here. After being productive all I want to do is
sit at home with a nice big cup of tea and watch a movie or read a book. But days like this remind me of why I came
here and why I have to continue to push myself.
Plus it doesn’t hurt that now I have 2 huge bundles of grapes to enjoy!
